hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize