Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I love having hate sex.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
