I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize