I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
