i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
