Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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