The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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