I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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