It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
