Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
