i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
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Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
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JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize