So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
