and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
