can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Houston, we have a blender
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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