i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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