Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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