i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
