dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
