i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
