GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
time to smoke my breakfast
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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