I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
