'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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