his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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