I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
