What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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