Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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