You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
