You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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