so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
