Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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