you guys were way drunker than both of me
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize