oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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