By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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