I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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