you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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