I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize