mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
