I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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