Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
