whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
