note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
