Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
