Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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