I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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