dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
