help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You were trust falling into bushes
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
