While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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