our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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