She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
