you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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