You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I deserve this hangover.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
