i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
