i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.