I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.