went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
