When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We need to get me chipped asap
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
