I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
