Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
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I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
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She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
How does it feel to date your dad?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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