you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
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I stole a fireplace last night.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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