Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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