Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
