very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
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she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
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