I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
