Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
